Yearbook photo

Yearbook name: Thomas O. Plant (Tom)

Civilian Biography (Unclassified)

Thomas O. Plant

 After graduation from GCM, I worked construction for a few months building apartments not too far from our high school.  One day, while digging earthen foundations, I had an epiphany and decided life as a college student would be more challenging and adventurous.  I had been accepted at the University of Utah and decided to follow my military parents on assignment to Utah and attend that prestigious institution of higher learning situated 4500 feet in the Wasatch Mountains.  Miraculously, I graduated in 1970, receiving a Bachelor of Science Degree in Political Science with a Certificate in International Relations.  My aspiration to become the Ambassador to Pakistan (like Wendy) or the Secretary of State was quickly dashed when confronted with the reality of politics.  I didn’t meet the diplomatic prerequisites:  good looking, suave, debonair, slicked back hair, no dirt under the fingernails, perpetual smile, and no character deficits.  Therefore, in a moment of unrestrained insanity, after an ROTC scholarship offer and motivated by Barry Sadler’s “The Ballad of the Green Berets,” I patriotically swore allegiance to the U.S. Army.

During my thirty years of military service, the Army has provided a variety of challenging leadership assignments and numerous career enhancing (or ending) opportunities “to excel “all over the world.  I’ve jumped out of perfectly good airplanes and helicopters and meandered over rugged terrain during low visibility operations in all weather conditions on almost all continents. I’ve piloted UH-1H helicopters over the Southeast U.S. and, while assigned to an armored division in Europe, raced M60 tanks and M113 personnel carriers against BMWs and Audis on the German autobahn.  I’ve conducted underwater (SCUBA) infiltrations and exfiltrations against almost impenetrable objectives (wild parties) in Key West, FL., and participated in some classified operations that probably wouldn’t garner your mother’s approval.  While serving on active duty, I received my Masters in Psychology and Counseling from Georgia State University in 1977, and immediately focused on applying the eclectic approach to behaviorism using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to obtain self-actualization.  In spite of my determination and systematic approach to change the status quo, I failed miserably in every respect.  During Operation Just Cause in Panama against Noriega in 90/91, I commanded a battalion/task force in Panama City, and accidently received my “de facto” PhD. in Military Science from an unaccredited fly-by-night institution called the U.S. Army while conducting MOUT (Military Operations on Urban Terrain).

Throughout my military career, I was able to work with some of the greatest Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines of our Combined Services.  During my command assignments, I enjoyed constantly motivating and harassing those same warriors while trying to maintain my sense of humor during many unexplained “twilight zone” feats of bravery and courage.  These deeds were sometimes tempered with acts of total ineptitude that defied logic and lacked common sense.  The latter remark refers primarily to my leadership skills.  To put it bluntly, many times those fighters saved my rear end.  I retired in June 2000, at the rank of Colonel, and was immediately awarded thirty per cent medical disability from the VA based on mental deficiencies, moral depravation, and lack of political correctness.

Since retirement, my active civilian life has resulted in the following awards and decorations:  (1) the coveted  Fantastic Skier’s Award (FSA) w/2 Oak Leaf Clusters (one for uncontrollable acrobatic freefall and one for downhill demolition of trees);  (2) the American Council on Exercise (ACE) Personal Trainer Certification w/Gold Star, for performing as a motivational speaker  at an elite athletic club where I was responsible for torturing civilian men and women of all  “girths;”  (3) the highly sought-after Master Motorcycle Rider’s Award, Gold Wing Road Rider’s Association (GWRRA), for traveling over 100,000 miles and somehow remarkably  “cheating death” on numerous highways, byways, and interstates; and (4) the NRA endorsed Expert Marksmanship Badge, for demonstrating exemplary proficiency in BB guns, throwing knives, garrote, and other lethal weaponry.  I have authored two books, an autobiography and a yet-to-be-rated novel entitled “Fun in the Sun,” with Fabio featured on the cover.  Unfortunately, I’ve had trouble finding a publisher for either because the agents I’ve contacted refuse to read the final drafts.  Lastly, I continue to maintain my combat effectiveness through yoga and meditation, where I contemplate my navel and utter the military war cry “hooooah” at 300 decibels.  This mantra is complemented with a strenuous strength training program designed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and a demanding aerobic program as practiced by Taylor Swift.  My goal is to prepare myself physically, mentally, morally, and ethically for George C. Marshall’s Class of 1966 50^th Reunion.

Photos:

Selfie by My Daughter Stefanie with her Eccentric Father at Yellowstone NP

Avoiding Law Enforcement en Route to GCM’s Class of 66 50th Reunion

My Riding Partner (Law Enforcement Leaves Us Alone)

Lost in the Red Mountains of Southern Utah Wondering Which to Use, SPF 30 or SPF 50